What is love? Baby don’t hurt me….no more….

Buy me a coffee ☕️

I hate my cat.

Well, I think I hate him.

The other day, he climbed on top of the dresser, squeezed behind my TV, and caused absolute chaos. I scolded him and my other cat, but my gray cat seemed to think it was a fun challenge. When I wasn’t looking, he climbed onto my TV, and by the time I turned around, it was too late. He knocked it over, which crashed onto my computer, breaking both before tumbling to the floor. Just like that, the two most expensive things I own, my Lenovo ThinkPad from 2015 and my Vizio TV, bought with my first paycheck at 18, were destroyed.

For days, I’ve been fantasizing about giving him away or just opening the door and letting him run outside. Every time I look at him, I’m filled with anger. But here’s the thing: I still love him. I can’t let him go. I can’t give him away or risk him getting hurt outside. Even though I’m furious now, I know I’ll get over it because, I love him. 🤮

This whole mess has made me realize something: I could never love a man the way I love this cat. Imagine a person doing something like this to me, and I just forgive them because I love them? No way. I’ve never been in love with a person only my family, and that’s by default. But cats? I fall for them hard, even when they break my heart (and my belongings 😡) without a care in the world. If a grown adult treated me like this, would I just let it slide? I don’t think so.

It’s also made me realize I can’t have children. If I’m this forgiving with a cat, how would I handle a kid? I’d probably let them get away with murder.

And yet, despite everything, I’ve already forgiven my cat. I feel pathetic. If I let a person do this to me, I’d be a doormat. But with him? He’ll keep climbing on my stuff, and I’ll keep loving him anyway.

So, what is love? I cannot say for sure but maybe it’s this: loving something so much that even when it destroys the things you’ve worked hard for, you can’t let it go. Maybe it’s forgiving the unforgivable because, deep down, you know you’d rather have the chaos with them than peace without them. Or maybe love is just a cat knocking over your TV and reminding you that you’re capable of caring about something more than yourself, even when it drives you insane.

As for me, I’ll keep my cat. I’ll keep loving him, even when he breaks my stuff, because that’s what love is (I think…): messy, frustrating, and completely irrational. And if that’s how I love a cat, maybe I’m not ready for the messiness of loving a person. But for now, I’ll settle for my gray little troublemaker, who somehow manages to make me laugh even when I want to scream.

P.S. I was very high as I am writing this. I have no idea if this even sounds coherent.😊

Buy me a coffee ☕️